I have always been an introvert and reactive person. I rarely
approach people first and keep to myself when it comes to strangers. That
becomes the factor which makes it hard for me to open up to strangers. This
results in a longer period of time required for me to warm up to someone and
communication becomes a challenge when I work with people I am unfamiliar with.
I will tend to reply people instead of initiating a conversation and will reply
in a manner that can be interpreted that I want to end the conversation or that
I am not willing to talk with the other party.
However, when it comes to people I am close to and am
comfortable with, I have two conflicting sides in terms of communication. The first
is my introvert self, where I still do keep to myself and have time to myself
even in the company of friends. This is bad as I am not being considerate of
their presence. The second is my desire to speak my thoughts. This has two
sides to it, where it is a good thing as I interact with people and voice my opinions,
engaging people and having wonderful conversations. On the other hand, I want
to be heard and this is the same for the majority. This is a problem as there
has to be listeners for someone to be heard but there are rarely people who
wants to hear. When I came to realize this, I began to control myself when I
want to speak but instead be a listening ear to others so as to have meaningful
conversations.
There are definitely many other factors in communication and
it is a learning journey to discover the different interactions among people.
I know that it is hard to establish communication with people first. However, once a communication is established. If you just reply without initiating a conversation. Wont it become like question and answer? You could try to pick the topic the other party mention and try to initiate a conversation. This will make him feel that you are interested in what he is saying and being attentive. I totally agree that listening is important during conversation. But it does not consider to be a meaningful one if you could not deliver what u want to deliver by controlling yourself.
ReplyDeleteIt is hard to start a communication with strangers, or even with friends that you knew. Why do i know that? I am someone like yourself as well. An introvert and quiet person.
ReplyDeleteI think it is essential to slowly move out of this zone as slowly, we will be required to use communications as a base to do more work.
Why not find a common topic that you can talk about? Or even start to do homeworks/assignments together where you can actively start communicate in the group? It will have a certain degree of effect on it.
I have found one workable way is to talk about something both parties have in common - yes, homework and assignments... or food, if one happens to be at the canteen... or favourite TV show... and so on. Generally harmless topics, you know.
ReplyDeleteAnother way is to self-disclose when appropriate. This may be hard, but it's worth trying. Start with what you are comfortable about disclosing about yourself, and see what the response leads to. You may be surprised at the result!
I have read other fellow classmate of what they have written and I see some resemblance in almost all the post in that we are very bad in voicing out including myself.
ReplyDelete"reply in a manner that can be interpreted that I want to end the conversation or that I am not willing to talk with the other party."
I think the first step to change this is when talking to the other party, try to maintain eye contact and try to reply in complete sentences so as to not leave a wrong impression on the other party
"I have two conflicting sides in terms of communication."
In my own opinion, the best way is to plan out a time solely for yourself so that you can go 'all out' when you are with your friends.
It is hard to start a communication with strangers, or even with friends that you knew. Why do i know that? I am someone like yourself as well. An introvert and quiet person.
ReplyDeleteI think it is essential to slowly move out of this zone as slowly, we will be required to use communications as a base to do more work.
Why not find a common topic that you can talk about? Or even start to do homeworks/assignments together where you can actively start communicate in the group? It will have a certain degree of effect on it.
PS- Used the wrong account name to post previously